Tales of the Akatsuki
by Izumihimechan
Summary: Tani and Izumi Uchiha are living with their oldest brother Itachi at the Akatsuki base. The two youngest Uchihas living with a bunch of murderous psycho guys? What'll those girls do?
1. Itachi and Deidara

"Tani give it back!" Izumi shouted running after her younger sister. "You brat! I said GIVE IT BACK!!"

"Make me!" Tani sneered. Tani swerved down a side hall where she slammed into their oldest brother...Uchiha Itachi. (This is not a good thing!)

"What're you doing?" he asked gazing down at the two of them. Tani backed up a step.

"Gomen Tachi-kun," she said. He continued to look at them. The girls fidgeted nervously.

"I'm waiting," Itachi said.

"Tani stole my kunai!" Izumi cried. "Make her give it back!" Itachi just stared at her. (May I add that that is very creepy...)

"That's not my problem. You lost it, you get it back." Izumi's jaw dropped.

"But...but...NII-SAN!!! That's not fair!!!" Tani started laughing. (Little brat) Itachi started walking away.

"Oh, and no running in the halls. I told you that before." The girls stared after their brother.

"He's so creepy sometimes," Izumi said.

"I'm tellin' him you said that," Tani replied. Izumi glared at the younger girl.

"_I will _**KILL **_you_." Tani smirked.

"I'd like to see you try." While the girls continued to argue someone snuck up behind them but they were so busy with their petty crap that they didn't even notice. (Crappy ninjas huh?).

"GOT YOU!!!" the person yelled grabbing them both from behind. The girls shrieked.

"DEIDARA!!!!" Izumi shrieked. "You...I'm gonna...for the love of God STOP GRABBING MY ASS!!!" Deidara grinned at the middle Uchiha.

"But you're just so cute Izumi-chan... yeah." (cough pervert! cough)

"You suck! I swear I'll tell my brother!" Deidara sweat dropped nervously.

"Oh c'mon! You wouldn't do that, yeah! I was just playin'!"

"Dei-kun!" Tani cried as she tackled the blonde Akatsuki member.

"Hello Tani-chan, yeah," Deidara laughed as he untangled himself from the little girl. (Anyone want to explain how a ten-year-old can knock over a trained adult Akatsuki member? Anyone!?)

"Cuz I'm good like that!" Izumi and Deidara looked down at Tani.

"Um...who are you talking to?" Izumi asked.

"The...you know...the person...oh never mind! You're too dumb to get it!" Izumi glared at her sister.

"It was Bob the imaginary cookie pudding monster, yeah!" Deidara chirped.

"You are so freaking mental..."

"That's why I like him nee-chan!"

"Only you would."


	2. Zetsu

The girls finally snuck away from Deidara, avoiding his psycho babble about Bob the imaginary cookie pudding monster. They wandered aimlessly around the Akatsuki base until they came upon Zetsu, standing in the middle of the hall. (Insert dramatic music here)

"Oh look, it's the younger Uchihas... let's eat them," The black half of Zetsu's face suggested evilly.

"But we can't eat them..." The white half replied.

"Do it!"

"No!"

"Do it!"

"No!"

"Just freakin' eat 'em!"

"But... just... no!" The girls' heads moved back and forth as if watching a tennis match.

"Maybe we should leave now..." Izumi whispered to her younger sister.

"No," Tani replied firmly, "I wanna see what happens."

"But... wait a minute... wasn't Zetsu there two seconds ago...?"

"Um..." Just then...

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Zetsu yelled coming out of the floor from beneath them. The girls shrieked and jumped out of the way just in time.

"PSYCHO!!!!!!" Both girls yelled at the same time.

"I told you this was a bad idea," Izumi snapped at Tani. Tani just stuck her tongue out at her older sister. Then... they ran... very fast... away... yeah.


	3. Sasori

After the girls caught their breath, they heard a loud argument. Following the noise, they found Deidara and Sasori arguing about art in the dining room.

"But Sasori no Danna... art is a bang, yeah!" Deidara argued to his partner.

"No, Deidara, art is something long lasting, like my puppets," Sasori snapped back.

"No, art is something that comes and goes quickly, yeah, like my clay sculptures!"

"Don't argue with me, I know what I'm talking about!"

"No you don't!"

"Yes I do!"

"Do not, yeah!"

"Do too!"

"Do. Not. Yeah!"

"Stop being so childish, Deidara!"

"If you ask me, you're both being childish! You argue like Tani and me!" Izumi snapped.

"That's 'Tani and I' baka," Tani corrected her older sister. Izumi glared at Tani.

"We didn't ask your opinion, Uchiha," Sasori snapped.

"And we don't need an English lesson... yeah... we speak Japanese, don't we?" Deidara asked, looking confused.

"Yes, Deidara," Sasori replied. (I BELIEVE WHAT YOU ARE SPEAKING NOW IS ENGLISH!!!!)

"No, ya think?" Tani snapped sarcastically. Everybody looked at her oddly.

"_Now_ who are you talking to?" Izumi asked.

"Bob the imaginary cookie pudding..." Deidara began.

"NO!" The girls cried. "NO MORE BOB! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE SANITY THAT WE DON'T ACTUALLY POSSESS!!!!" And... they ran... again.


	4. Kisame

Next, the girls found themselves wandering into the living room, where they found Kisame on the couch, flipping through the channels. Tani smirked as she walked up behind him.

"Du-nuh, du-nuh," Tani expertly 'du-nuh'ed the jaws theme. Kisame turned and glared at her.

"Shut up, chibi," He snapped. (He is not amused)

"Back at ya, fish stick," Tani replied. Izumi, at this time, was huddled in the corner because she has a great fear of anything 'shark based'. This is only because she watched the movie Jaws when she was three... bad idea.

"What's wrong with you?" Kisame asked.

"Ignore her," Tani replied, vaulting over the back of the couch, landing next to Kisame. "What'cha watchin'?"

"None of your business," Kisame replied. "Now go a... hey!" Kisame cried when Tani took the remote from his hands. She immediately flipped it to a documentary on... tiger sharks. Kisame twitched and grabbed the remote back.

"Hey!" Tani cried as he changed the channel. "Give it back!" Kisame lifted his arm up so she couldn't reach it.

"Jerk," She mumbled. Suddenly, Izumi came flying out of nowhere, grabbing the remote out of his hand. She sat down next to Tani and changed it to... Hello Kitty. (NOOO!!!! IT BURNS!!!)

"Not on your life, shortie," Kisame snapped, grabbing for the remote. Izumi jumped back out of reach, while Tani jumped behind Kisame.

"Catch!" Izumi cried as she threw the remote to Tani. They continued to play 'keep away' until the remote accidentally fell into the fish tank... _Kisame's_ fish tank.

"NOOO!!!!!" Kisame cried as the fish were electrocuted. Tani and Izumi backed away slowly.

"Um... bye," Izumi chirped as they took off running in another direction.


	5. Tobi

"That was a close one..." Izumi said as the girls wandered their way down a flight of stairs.

"You got that right, nee-chan," Tani replied, "by the way; do you have _any_ idea where we are?" Izumi looked around.

"Nope, not a clue," She replied as the stairs ended and they walked into a dark, musty room. They continued to walk until they heard what sounded like... singing. Very _bad_ singing.

"Tobi, why are you _singing_ in the _basement_?" Izumi asked. Tobi looked over at the two girls.

"Izumi-chan! Tani-chan! Tobi is doing Zetsu's laundry!" Tobi replied cheerfully. "Tobi is a good boy!"

"Um... sure..." Tani muttered under her breath. Tobi bounced over to the girls.

"Do _you_ think Tobi is a good boy!?" He asked Izumi.

"Of... course...?" She replied, unsurely, patting his head like one would a small puppy.

"Do _you _think Tobi is a good boy, Tani-chan!?" He questioned Tani next. She looked at him, and then sighed.

"Of course, Tobi-chan," She replied.

"Yay!" Tobi chirped as he bounced back over to the random washer and drier in the middle of the basement.

"Oi, Tani-chan?" Izumi asked. "Why don't we ever come down here?" Suddenly, the sound of screams could be heard coming from the other side of a door. The girls looked at a half open door only to see blood pour out, followed by a random arm... no longer on a body... (wince Ouch) Quickly after, Zetsu appeared, picking up the arm and giving the girls a look before going back in the room.

"_That's_ why," Tani replied calmly, though she had lost all color in her face. Izumi seemed fine for a moment, but quickly doubled over and puked. (Ewww...)

"Ne, Tobi-chan!" Tani called, as Izumi regained her composure. Tobi bounded over to them.

"Hai, Tani-chan?" He asked.

"Will you clean that up please?" Tani asked, pointing to what used to be Izumi's lunch.

"Of course!" Tobi replied. "Tobi is a good boy!"

"Yes he is..." Tani mumbled as she walked over to the door.

"Tani," Izumi cried. "Where are you going?" Tani didn't reply as she peaked in the room. After a minute, she turned around and walked back over to Izumi, not saying a word. She looked... dazed.

"Tani," Izumi asked, waving her hand in front of her sister's face, getting no reply. "Let's go." The two walked back up the stairs and into the hallway only for Tani to run into Itachi again. He gazed down at her, getting no reply.

"What's wrong with her?" He asked. Izumi shrugged.

"Something she saw with Zetsu." Izumi replied. Itachi nodded, setting his hand on top of Tani's head. She seemed to gain some realization of the world around her.

"There... it... I... wasn't aware... so much you can remove... from... human body... while they're... still alive..." Tani stuttered. Izumi paled at what her sister said. Itachi blinked at his sisters, and then sighed.

"Stay out of the basement, girls," He commanded.

"Not gonna be a problem," Izumi replied as the two walked down the hallway.


	6. Unknown and Hidan

"The crap with this!" Izumi cried as she tried to figure out where they were. "I've been here for two and a half years and I still can't figure out where I am!" Tani giggled at her sister.

"And _you_ know where we are?" Izumi asked.

"Of course," Tani replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. "_I've _been wandering these halls for six years. I know them pretty well by now."

"Gaki..." Izumi mumbled.

"I'm not a brat," Tani snapped.

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are freakin' too!"

"Am freakin'..." Tani stopped as both girls looked to the other side of the hallway. The shadowy member of Akatsuki walked past. The 'unknown' as Tani and Izumi liked to call him... or her... who knows really. The unknown glared at the two before continuing on his (or her) way.

"Creepy," Izumi commented.

"Yep," Tani replied as she led them up to where the Akatsuki members' rooms were located. Each door had a sign or kanji engraved on it to show who the room belonged to. They paused as they passed a door that was half-open and peaked in. Inside, was Hidan... on the floor... stabbing himself... (O.o Awkward much?)

"U-um, Hidan?" Izumi asked. "Are you... _sane_?" Hidan looked up and glared at them, getting off the ground.

"How dare you interrupt my ritual!?" He barked. "Now I will have to sacrifice you as an apology to Jashin-sama!" The two girls squeaked and darted down the hallway, only to actually be _chased_ this time.

"Ita-kun!" Tani yelled as she and Izumi were chased into the living room. After hearing his sister's yell, Itachi stood up and faced the direction of her voice.

"Save us!" Izumi cried as she and Tani ran into the room. Izumi ran behind Itachi, grasping his cloak in her hands and Tani ran _into_ his cloak, feeling him wrap a protective arm around her. Hidan followed quickly into the room to stand in front of Itachi.

"What now, girls?" Itachi asked calmly, without taking his eyes off of Hidan.

"He's trying to sacrifice us to Jashin-sama again!" Tani whined, burying deeper into his cloak so she couldn't be seen.

"Hidan," Itachi snapped. "Leave them alone." Hidan grumbled something, but left anyway, spewing some _colorful_ language.

"Thanks Itachi nii-san," Izumi sighed as she detached herself from his cloak. Itachi gave Tani a gentle yet firm push out of his cloak.

"Yeah," She smiled up at her older brother, "Thanks Ita-kun!" He stared down at them.

"Try not to get into so much trouble," He snapped, though both girls knew that was Itachi's (odd) way of showing affection.

"Hai!" Both girls called as they ran off.


	7. Kakuzu and Leader

"Kakuzu... Kakuzu..." Izumi said over and over to a _very_ annoyed Kakuzu.

"Kakuzu... Kaku-"

"WHAT!?" Kakuzu growled. Tani reached over and poked him in the arm with a grin spread across her face. (insert wtf moment here)

"Do you two want me to get Hidan down here?" Kakuzu asked, irritably. The girls looked at each other then back at Kakuzu. Tani grabbed a ten dollar bill from her pocket as a sly look crept onto her face.

"This _never _happened, ne?" She asked as she handed him the money. He nodded and walked away.

"Now what?" Izumi asked. "I'm bored." Both girls walked down the hallway until they reached Izumi's room. Walking in, Tani turned on the music... loud... _very_ loud. Both girls started jumping on the bed and singing along to the song 'Girlfriend'. They were interrupted by a very _angry_ Akatsuki leader.

"WILL YOU TWO TURN DOWN THAT MUSIC!?" He shouted. "I have leader like things to do!"

"And what would these 'leader like things' be... porn by chance?" Izumi asked. The leader gaped at her for a moment before composing himself.

"Ohhhhhh," Tani cried, pointing to the ceiling, "Pretty bug!!!" Izumi and the leader turned to look at her oddly. (ADD much?)

"Whatever," The leader snapped. "Just keep down the music so I can... um think..."

"About porn," Izumi added in.

"If I say yes will you leave me alone?" The leader asked. Izumi nodded.

"Fine," The leader replied. "Porn."

"It's still there!!!" Tani cried, only now she was hanging upside down off of the ceiling and getting a closer look. The leader twitched.

"I'm leaving now, keep down the music," He snapped as he left.

"Fine, fine," Izumi replied. "Have fun with your porn!" She yelled the last part _very_ loudly so the _whole_ base could hear her.

"Lookie Izumi nee-chan!" Tani cried as she jumped down next to her sister. "It's a spider!" Izumi shrieked as she looked at the arachnid crawling up her younger sister's arm.

"Kill it!" she cried.

"No," Tani replied.  
"Kill it _now_!"

"Not on your life!"

"Then get it out of my room!"

"Fine," Tani walked out the door and into the hallway. "I'll put _her_ in my room." Izumi sweat dropped as she watched her sister leave. (twitch much?)


	8. Dinner with the Akatsuki

By the time dinner rolled around, the girls had managed to annoy _everyone_ in the Akatsuki... except Tobi... but he doesn't count... The girls walked into the kitchen only to be met with... Kisame... cooking... in a pink apron... a _frilly_ pink apron. (double twitch)

"K-Kisame?" Izumi asked. "Why are you cooking... in... a pink apron?"

"It brings out the color of my skin," he replied seriously.

"Sure it does," Tani mumbled.

"Go get everyone and tell them that the food's done," Kisame commanded. Both girls walked to the door.

"EVERYONE," they shouted in unison, "FOOD'S DONE!!!!" It took only seconds before the members piled into the dining room. Everyone took a seat, Tani and Izumi deciding to sit between Itachi and Deidara for 'safety reasons'.

"Oi, sushi-man," Tani called. "What's for dinner!?" The shark like man turned to glare at her.

"Fish," he replied. Tani and Izumi sighed.

"_Again_?" Izumi asked.

"Yes," Kisame replied, "If you have a problem with it, you cook dinner."

"Not on your life," Izumi replied.

"Yeah," Tani added, "That's a _girl's_ thing." It was silent for a second as everyone looked oddly at the two.

"So..." Izumi asked, "Who's _not_ questioning their gender at the moment?" It was silent again.

"Tobi is hungry," Tobi broke the silence innocently.

"Whatever," Izumi sighed. "I myself, have my doubts about _all_ of you." She then received the most glares she'd ever gotten at one time.

"Itadakimasu!!!" Tani cried out. "What, does no one else know how to be formal at dinner?"

"Of course not, idiot," Izumi replied. "We're in the _Akatsuki_ base. The only think they do formally is _kill_ people."

"Oh, Izumi-chan," Deidara cried. "You know us all too well!!!"

"Stay away from my ass, Deidara," Izumi snapped. "I'm watching your hand." Deidara laughed uneasily when Itachi gave him a murderous look. It was silent as they started eating.

"Sooooooo..." Tani attempted to start a conversation. "How many people did everyone kill today?" There was another pause. (o.O another awkward moment...)

"Well..." Sasori began.

"NO!!" Izumi cried. "I'm trying to freakin' eat here!!!" Tani giggled at her sister.

"So," he continued, talking mostly to Tani. "Do you want to hear _how_ I killed them?" Tani grinned and nodded.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" Izumi shouted, dramatically. "PLEASE JUST STOP!!!"

"Everyone just shut up and eat," Itachi commanded loudly. The rest of them complied.

"Sorry, Ita-kun," Tani apologized cutely.

"So, you don't want me to tell you how I killed them?" Sasori asked after a minute. Izumi stood up and grabbed her plate.

"I'm going to eat in my room," She snapped as she left the room.

"I'll come with you!!" Deidara cried, excitedly.

"No!" Izumi shouted. "You stay here!!!"

"But..."

"Just. Sit. Down." Izumi growled out. Deidara sat down silently. Tani got up and followed her older sister out of the room.

"You killed the fun," Tani whined to her sister.

"At least I don't kill anything else," Izumi snapped back, "_yet_." Tani rolled her eyes.

"Whatever."

"How did you survive _six years_ here?"

"Quite happily."

"Weirdo."

"Thanks!" Izumi sighed.


	9. Izumi Gets Her Period

Izumi woke up in the middle of the night because her stomach was killing her.

"Must've been that fish Kisame cooked…" she muttered sleepily as she stumbled into the bathroom. She reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out the bottle of Tylenol. She swallowed two of the small white pills and gulped down a mouthful of water from the small cup with her kanji on it. Then, she chewed two tropical fruit Tums and hoped that would be good enough. She decided to go into the living room and watch TV until her stomach felt better. At some point during some pointless late night cartoon, she fell asleep on the couch.

"Ohayo Izumi-chan!" Deidara cried. Izumi groaned and opened her eyes, only to snap them shut again. The light coming in from the living room window was making her head pound even more than it already was.

"It's time to wake up sleepyhead…yeah!" Deidara said.

"Not now Deidara…" she muttered. "I'm tired. Go away." Deidara shook her shoulder.

"But don't you want to eat breakfast…yeah?" Izumi shook her head.

"My stomach hurts too much…" Deidara walked away. Izumi curled into a ball and hugged her stomach. She felt sick. Her head was pounding and she felt like she had a fever.

"What's wrong with you?" Tani's voice asked. Izumi opened her eyes and looked at her younger sister.

"I think I'm sick," she replied.

"Tachi-kun!" Tani yelled. "Izumi's sick!!" Izumi covered her ears.

"Do you really have to yell? My head is killing me." Itachi walked in and looked at his younger sisters.

"What's wrong now?" he asked.

"Izumi says she's sick," Tani answered. Itachi put his hand on Izumi's forehead.

"You don't have a fever," he told her. "You're fine."

"But I don't feel fine."

"Trust me. If you don't have a fever and you're not gushing blood then you're fine."

"But…"

"I SAID YOU'RE FINE!" He walked away.

"Alright. Geez…" Izumi sat up and rubbed her stomach.

"Maybe Kisame's cooking made you sick," Tani suggested. Kisame loomed up behind the youngest Uchiha.

"What did you say?" he growled.

"Your cooking sucks," Tani snapped.

"How DARE you!" he yelled. "You try cooking for all these ungrateful people! None of you appreciate the subtle flavor of fish!"

"It tasted like lemon cardboard last night," Tani quipped.

"You were obviously born without taste buds."

"I was not!"

"Will you two shut up!?" Izumi yelled. "My head is pounding!" Kisame walked off, leaving the girls alone. Suddenly, Izumi shouted in pain and jumped off the couch.

"What?" Tani asked.

"I just…my stomach…I feel like I'm getting stabbing in the gut."

"Well…you're bleeding," Tani said. Izumi looked at the couch and saw blood on the cushions.

"ITACHI NII-SAN!!!" she screamed running into the dining room.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm bleeding!"

"Where? I don't see any wounds."

"Well…it's…you see…" Izumi stammered as her face got hot with embarrassment.

"Where Izumi?"

"Um…my…down there…" Izumi was bright red now.

"Your foot?" Itachi asked looking at both her feet.

"Higher."

"Your leg?"

"Higher."

"Your…oh…that…that…that's where you meant…" Itachi seemed very embarrassed when he realized where Izumi was talking about.

"She has blood all over her shorts," Tani said. "It's all over the couch too."

"What's wrong with you?" Itachi asked. "Take off your shorts and let me see."

"NO!!!!" Izumi shrieked. "YOU ARE SICK!!!" (He is now very confused. He was only trying to help…)

"Well how else am I going to see the wound?"

"There is no wound!"

"Then where's all the blood coming from!?"

"I DON'T KNOW!!" Itachi grabbed Izumi by the arm and dragged her into Deidara's room.

"Do you know why Izumi is bleeding?" he asked the blonde Akatsuki member.

"No…it's coming from her shorts though, yeah! So she should…take them off…yeah!"

"NO!" Izumi shouted. "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SEE ME WITH MY PANTS OFF!"

"I did," Itachi said.

"I was in diapers," Izumi snarled. Zetsu and Tobi walked in.

"What's going on?" the white half of Zetsu's face asked. "We heard shouting…is everyone all right?"

"We smell blood…." The black half said. "Can we eat whatever's bleeding?" Izumi clung to her older brother's cloak.

"Tobi, there's blood on the couch," Itachi said. "Go clean it up."

"Hai! Tobi is a good boy!"

"Tobi is Zetsu's bitch," Izumi muttered as he bounced out of the room.

"So can we eat it?" the black half asked looking at Izumi when he noticed that the scent was coming from her.

"No you can't," Itachi said.

"And I'm _not_ an it!" Izumi cried.

"We could look it up on my computer…yeah!" Deidara suggested. Itachi nodded and sat down at Deidara's computer.

"How…how the hell do I work this?" he asked.

"I'll do it…yeah!" Deidara said waving at Itachi to get up.

"Tobi!" Zetsu called.

"Hai Zetsu?" Tobi asked coming into the room again.

"Go to the store and buy us some books on parenting a teenager," the white half of Zetsu's face commanded.

"Hai!" Tobi bounced out again. Izumi leaned over Deidara's shoulder to see what he was looking at. He had Googled "Bleeding from the private area".

"It came up with over one hundred pages of results!!!?" Izumi cried. Tani peeked over Deidara's other shoulder.

"Click on one Dei-kun," she said. He did as she asked and their eyes all widened.

"It's a…" Izumi said. "It's a _porn_ site….oh God Tani don't look!" She clapped her hand over the younger girl's eyes.

"Shut it down Deidara," Itachi ordered. Deidara groaned and clicked back to the search site.

"This might have been a bad idea," Izumi said taking her hand away from Tani's eyes. Tobi returned and handed Zetsu three books.

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi said.

"Yes you are," Zetsu replied. Itachi took one book and handed another to Sasori who had just walked into the room. The third went to Deidara but it had to be taken away and given to Zetsu since Deidara would only look at the page with the diagram of the naked teenage girl. (Does he have the mind of a teenage boy or what!?)

"It says here that if she has bleeding, a headache, and stomach cramps then she is having her period," Sasori said.

"Mine says that too," Zetsu agreed.

"Mine says that as well," Itachi said. "A period…hmmm…I believe I recall mother mentioning having one…."

"It says it should last three to five days," Sasori said. "Seven at the most. For the symptoms you should take Tylenol or Pamprin." Izumi sighed.

"So this is normal?" she asked.

"'Course it is!" Tani said. "I heard Ino and Sakura talking about it when Itachi and I were in the village."

"When did they start?" Izumi asked.

"When they were twelve. Hinata said she started when she was thirteen."

"So I'm late!?" Izumi cried. "All the other girls started before me!?"

"You're just a late bloomer," Itachi said.

"At least you have boobs like all the other girls," Deidara commented staring at her chest. Izumi smacked him.

"Pervert!" she yelled.

"Tani-chan?" Itachi asked.

"Hai Ita-kun?"

"Did you know what was wrong with Izumi-chan all along?"

"Um…well…hai…"

"And you didn't tell us because…?"

"Because I love torturing Izumi nee-chan!"

"I see."


	10. Izumi is a Crybaby

Izumi's period passed and Deidara was very happy.

"You know Izumi-chan, you're really mean when you're on your period…yeah!" he said as they walked down to breakfast together.

"Well I'm in a house full of guys who don't understand that when I am bleeding for a week I'm going to need certain things," she snapped. "Do you have _any _idea how hard it was to explain to Itachi what pads and tampons are!?" Deidara sweat dropped and grinned.

"Nope, no idea…yeah!" Izumi rolled her eyes.

"Of course not." (Poor Izumi-chan!)

"Ne…Izumi…" Deidara said.

"Hm?"

"Do…do you like me?"

"Like…like you?"

"Hai. Do you like me?"

"Like you how?"

"Like me enough to…"

"I swear Deidara if anything perverted comes out of your mouth I will murder you." Deidara shut his mouth right away.

"That's what I thought." They walked into the dining room and sat down beside each other.

"Ohayo Dei-kun!" Tani chirped sitting down on his other side.

"Ohayo Tani-chan…" he muttered.

"Ne…what's wrong?"

"Nothing…yeah…" Kisame set breakfast on the table. Today it was rice and eggs. (Yay no fish!)

"Itadakimasu!" Tani and Izumi cried in unison.

"Itadakimasu!" the others replied. They ate quietly.

"What are you two doing today?" Sasori asked.

"Training," Tani replied. "The usual." Izumi shook her head.

"It's all we ever do," she said. "I'm tired of it. If it's nice out _I'm _going to go swimming."

"She can't do that!" Tani cried. "Can she Tachi-kun!?" Itachi set down his chopsticks and stood up.

"Do what you want. Just stay out of trouble." Izumi jumped up.

"Yay! Arigato Itachi nii-san!" She ran outside to check the weather…and came back in dripping wet.

"It's raining!!!" she cried. She slumped onto the floor and wailed.

"D…Don't cry Izumi-chan!!!" Deidara cried getting up and sitting down beside her.

"But…I…wanted…to…swim!!!"

"Get over it crybaby," Tani snapped getting up and carrying the dishes into the kitchen.

"Izumi-chan! It'll be okay…yeah!" Deidara said. He reached over and…

"DEIDARA YOU PERVERT!!!!" Izumi yelled, slapping him across the face. "YOU GRABBED MY ASS AGAIN!!!!" Deidara backed up as Izumi got to her feet, her eyes turning red and blazing with anger.

"I…Izumi-chan…I'm sorry…yeah…!" Deidara stammered.

"Do you want to keep your hands Deidara?"

"H…Hai!!"

"Then stop grabbing my ass! Next time I'll rip of your hands and feed them to you!" Deidara nodded.

"Ne, Izumi-chan!" he said a smile spreading across his face.

"Nani?"

"You're cute when you're angry…yeah!"

"AAARGGG!!!" Izumi shouted stomping off.


	11. Tani Wants to go to McDonald's

Tani woke up early as usual and ran into her older sister's room.

"Get up Nee-chan!" she yelled bouncing on the older girl's bed. "Get up! Ge t up!!! I demand amusment! Entertain me!!"

"Get the hell off of me..." Izumi moaned pulling the covers over her head.

"Get up! I'll dump water on you!"

"Go away..." Tani shrugged and jumped off the bed. She made her way into the bathroom and filled a large bucket with ice cold water. Then she dumped a whole bunch of ice cubes in, just to be sure it was cold enough. She walked back to her sister's room and held the bucket over her head.

"Get up Izumi."

"Bite me..." Tani dumped the water on the older Uchiha. Izumi screamed and leapt out of bed.

"What the hell...Tani...I...THAT WAS COLD!!!!!" Tani started laughing.

"You should see your face!!" Izumi screamed again and began chasing her sister about the base. (Narrator: Now may I remind everyone that it is _very _early in the moring and that Izumi is screaming _very _loudly?)

"I know you'd think she'd shut up!" Tani agreed.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING TO!?!?!?!?!?" Tani skidded around a corner and as Izumi followed she slammed right into Itachi...oh. CRAP.

"I...Itachi..." she stammered. "G...good moring..."

"It is very very early Izumi-chan," Itachi replied. "May I ask why you feel the need to scream so shrilly?"

"Tani dumped water on me!!!" Izumi cried gesturing to her dripping wet pajamas. "AND I DO NOT HAVE A SHRILL SCREAM!!!" Tani's jaw dropped. Izumi knew better than to scream at Itachi.

_Oh she's gonna get it now!!! _Tani thought grinning gleefully.

"Izumi," Itachi said in his usual 'I'm really pissed and going to kill you now' voice that he seemed to use only with the middle Uchiha. Izumi looked up at her older brother.

"Yes big brother who I love very much and I hope doesn't kill me for being rude?"

"Go back to bed."

"But it's all wet!"  
"Then sleep with Tani."

"But Ita-kun I'm not sleepy anymore. I wanna got to McDonald's!" Itachi gaver her a 'wtf?' look.

"What?"

"It's a resturant! I wanna eat there! Let's go! Now!!"

"Izumi take Tani to this...McDonald's."

"No!" Izumi cried. "It's six thirty in the morning!"

"I WANT A EGG AND CHEESE McGRIDDLE!!!!!"

"Well I'm not..." Itachi glared down at her.

"I mean...yeah okay. Get dressed."


End file.
